What To Do When The Feeling Is Too Intense
Feb 16, 2020
As I look out my window, I see nothing but white clouds and the right wing of the airplane I am currently aboard.
It never ceases to amaze me that we have the technology to walk into a tin can and fly across the sky….and now, surf the internet, text and watch movies!
I’m heading to Arizona for vacation ~ the 1st half of the trip I’m going to spend time with a friend I met at Rythmia last year ~she’s a total bad-ass....Last February, she climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro at 70!
The second half of the week I’ll be hanging out with some women that I know through Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work and going to a 1-day event of his.(if you haven’t read his book, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”, I highly recommend it)
My plan is to completely “turn-off” and not work at all….which is something I haven’t done on a vacation in YEARS!
I’ll usually still take some calls and still do energy work with clients…
But, this time, I’m doing what I tell my clients and take completely off ~ not going to lie, it feels a bit scary!
Speaking of feeling…..yesterday I handed my 8 month old puppy Charlie over to Kay, who is a trainer that will be taking care of and training Charlie for 10 days.
When I was handing him over, I literally had to RUN away from him because I could not hold my tears in anymore!
I ran up to my apartment and BAWLED my eyes out ~ like, the kind of Bawling where you are in a fetal position, snot is dripping out of your nose, screaming kind of Bawling.
My heart hurt sooo incredibly bad to leave him.
It LITERALLY felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
If you would have told me in February 2019 that I would have a puppy and would be BAWLING over leaving him for 10 days, I would have said that you were crazy….and, would think that anyone who got that upset over leaving an animal was also crazy (my friends would definitely verify this!)
But….all of the energy work and plant-medicine ceremonies have been compounding and opening up my heart to be open to the little guy AND opened up to allowing myself to love deeply (including the parts of it that hurt).
As I was bawling, I was coaching myself saying:
“It’s ok to feel this; this is part of the human experience…just keep feeling it until it’s passed through you….”
I didn’t tell myself that I was stupid for feeling like this.
I didn’t judge myself for crying over a 16 lb puppy.
I didn’t tell myself to not be sad.
I didn’t “suck it up and get to work” even though I had work to do (it was not something that HAD to be done at that moment so I was able to give myself the space to feel).
I FELT the feelings until I didn’t feel them anymore (then I got to work).
Because if I didn’t, I knew that they would linger in my body, casting a cloud over my vacation short-term and wreck who-knows-what havoc in the longer term…and I didn’t want that.
We’ve been raised to saying things like “don’t be ______” when someone is feeling a not so pleasant emotion, which ends up creating people who are shut down, disconnected from themselves and others and in physical pain.
While there are times when you do need to “suck it up” in the moment (because you about to give a big presentation or you have to take care of your kids etc…), we need to give ourselves the space to feel what comes through us.
It doesn’t mean those emotions are facts.
It doesn’t mean that we have the right to react rather than respond.
It doesn’t mean that you get to wallow in the feeling.
I does mean that you have the right to honor whatever you are feeling when it is appropriate so that it moves out of your body.
It may pass within a few minutes.
And sometimes it can take a few days or months.
And that is OK.
Once you are done feeling it, then you can start thinking about other things (wallowing is when you get significance for being a certain way, rather than taking ownership and moving on).
One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Patrick Dempsey’s character in Sweet Home Alabama when he was dumped at the altar, he said, "so this is what this feels like” (here's a clip of that if you've never seen it).
I love the curiosity about feeling a feeling that he had never felt before.
The next time you are feeling strong emotions, follow the steps below and let me know how it works for you.
Here’s a step-by-step of What To Do When The Feeling Is Too Intense
- Release any judgement for any emotion/feeling.
- Get curious and allow yourself to feel it….”so, this is what this feels like"!
- Remind yourself that Feelings/Emotions are what the human experience is all about (if we didn’t have them, we’d be robots!) and feel free to borrow my mantra:
“It’s ok to feel this; this is part of the human experience…just keep feeling it until it’s passed through you….” - Do whatever feels right for you to express the feelings...scream, cry, punch a pillow, dance, run...whatever it takes to move it out of your body.
You may be surprised what you experience when you allow yourself to fully feel it!
Monday Night Energy-Releasing Call
There won’t be an Energy-Releasing Call for the next 2 Mondays as I’ll be on vacation & just getting back.
I’d love to hear from you…
What have you been struggling with and what kind of topics would you like for me to cover on these calls?
Hope you have a great week!
Your favorite energy coach,
Heather